


bloom until we ache

by mugofchai



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Canon Divergent, Emotional Hurt, Endgame AU, Fat!Thor, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt Thor (Marvel), Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Not A Happy Ending, Read at Your Own Risk, Sad Thor, Self-Esteem Issues, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Time Travel, angst? angst, because canon fucking SUCKS, dammit i wanted to write smut, future what future?, he's there (mentioned) but not there(active), i think so, loki has some suspicions but thor is too mentally tired rn, not really - Freeform, rocket raccoon kinda weaseled his way into this, sometimes there's things that make no sense, this is one of them, why tf did feelings come into it??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-16 01:53:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29445858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mugofchai/pseuds/mugofchai
Summary: And the closer he got, the more his resolution weakened. Just a look, he told himself. Just a glance.ORendgame au/canon divergence. when rocket and thor go to asgard, thor comes across some issues. what if thor stopped at loki's cell?
Relationships: Loki/Thor (Marvel), Rocket Raccoon & Thor
Comments: 15
Kudos: 60





	bloom until we ache

**Author's Note:**

> so this was meant to be a smut :) i wanted to project through fat!thor. but ofc things never go as i planned and instead of pwp, you get whatever this turned out to be.
> 
> title from bts-serendipity

It didn’t work! He just didn’t have the resolve. Not anymore.

After endlessly agonizing over how he would sneak past Loki without giving in to the urge to see him or speak to him, because if he did Thor knew the whole mission would go to hell, he had decided to just avoid Loki at all costs.

But now here he was, heart hammering in his chest like a bird desperately trying to fly out of its cage, and he hadn’t even made it to the holding cells yet. And the closer he got, the more his resolution weakened. _Just a look_ , he told himself. _Just a glance_.

Even as Thor lumbered on, he felt the purpose of the mission unravelling.

However, upon reaching the prison, his friend rabbit’s face flashed in his mind and Thor felt ashamed. He owed it to Rabbit to at least try and stick to the plan.

Upon sneaking between the holding cells and trying to move as quickly and inconspicuously, Thor had never felt the weight of his bulk so keenly. His need to consciously attempt to keep even his breathing controlled and soundless burned his cheeks with exertion.

The thought struck him then, of how lean his brother had always been in comparison. How Thor had always hulked over him. And now, sparing only a glance below at himself, his face heated up impossibly more in unwarranted shame. He could sense Loki locked up in his cell, alive and angry and wronged, and his shame outweighed his need to see.

With newfound resolution, he valiantly kept his gaze away. If he looked at Loki, he wouldn’t be able to move on. And Loki would notice him immediately. More than the thought of failing to do his part in the mission, of hurting Rabbit, he could not bear the thought of being seen like this by Loki.

Rabbit kept telling him it wasn’t something to be ashamed of. That the weight gain was normal after all the horror and loss he had been through. That the worst of it would melt off when he was actively fighting and doing missions again. And although Thor always thanked his friend, his advice never seemed to really help him feel better.

He must have stopped, or made a noise, because his hair stood on end and the silence suddenly became too loud. He absently registered that Loki had stopped tossing his cup. 

Holding back a grimace, he cautiously chanced a look over his shoulder, hoping to find his brother still idly entertaining himself. Instead, he was met with a confused Loki, who’s initial confusion quickly transformed into a mirthless smirk.

“Why Thor, I didn’t know you took my being locked up so to heart,” Loki drawled, his voice washing like honey over his aching skin despite the intended mockery. He was sitting up now, gaze fixed on Thor, “Especially when it was _you_ who brought me to Odin to face punishment.”

And lo and behold, any shred of his resolve went down the drain. He’s looked at his brother, heard his voice again, after so long. How could he turn?

* * *

He had lost track of time. He had lost track of how many times they’d done this. Thor had long stopped trying to tell Loki he had to go and pretend that he meant it.

From between his legs, Loki hummed softly. He swallowed.

Thor was panting harshly as he leaned heavily against the high back of the chair as Loki pulled off of him, the thread of drool and cum connecting his lips to Thor's skin breaking the farther away he moved. He sighed softly and remained seated there, on the floor between Thor’s feet, startling the blond when he leaned forward to rest his head against his bulging belly instead. Thor shuddered when he felt Loki kiss his exposed skin.

The sensation was a pleasant shock, Loki’s cheek was soft and his hair tickled gently against his skin. But Thor felt a wave of unbridled embarrassment take over him again.

When he hazarded a look at his brother’s face, Loki was eyeing him strangely. His lips were set in a soft, loose smile, like he wasn’t conscious of doing it, chin resting on Thor's thigh, and his eyes held the kind of curiosity that brimmed with foreboding. Like he dreaded to know what happened to Thor because he had some idea already.

But how could that be possible?

“You don’t have to do that,” he mumbled, peeling his gaze away even as he felt a flush heat his cheeks again.

Loki only responded by smoothly sliding up from the floor and sliding onto his lap. “What’s the matter? You’re the one who came to see me. After such a long time too.”

 _A long time indeed_ , Thor thought despondently. 

Under him, Thor fidgeted, very aware of Loki’s bare legs in contact with his tummy where his robes had ridden up. His seed spilled lazily from between Loki’s legs, soaking Thor’s breeches.

He sighed. “Y’know what I mean.” His hand came up to rest on the small of Loki's back. 

Loki scoffed. “If you’re worried about being seen, you don’t have to," he leaned closer and rutted lightly against Thor's abdomen. "I told you I’ve cast an illusion for anyone looking in, right?”

Once, Thor would have rebutted him or challenged his brother just for the sake of it. Now all he could do was avert his eyes. “I miss you,” he groaned, miserable and sated.

When instead of a mocking laugh or a seething comment he received silence, Thor dared look back at Loki. He had stopped rubbing himself against Thor.

His head was tilted to the side and his eyes were big and sad, but his lips were pressed together in a hard line. A moment later, he leaned forward and cupped Thor’s face in his hands, so gently that at first Thor thought he couldn’t feel the touch.

“I’m here, Thor.”

When he pressed a lingering kiss to Thor’s round, bearded cheek, it overwhelmed him.

Loki held him close as his body was raked with silent sobs, let him hold onto him and cry into his chest. His knees occasionally dug into Thor’s sides or his belly, but he was a comfortable weight, even a welcome weight, against Thor’s aching, aged, and alien body.

He felt like a child, but Loki felt like comfort and home and security. He felt Loki’s gentle touch brushing his matted hair as well as possible, soothing and real and he thought there was nothing he could have done. It had been too late the moment he had been chosen to be sent back to Asgard- his friends should have known. But now that he was with Loki, everything would be alright.

His brother was saying something to him, voice soothing yet firm, demanding answers, and Thor felt a fond smile pull at his lips. He closed his eyes and snuggled closer into Loki’s lean form, still secure on his lap, as the relief of reuniting with him finally allowed his body to cave. He’d just rest his eyes for a bit.

**Author's Note:**

> ALSO it's not supposed to be a happy ending with a logical solution to the thanos problem. it's just a scenario i had in mind, just an itch i wanted to scratch: loki meeting fat!thor while in his cell.  
> comments/reviews keep me going.  
> i'd love to know what went well in this and what didn't.  
> if you connected or not T_T  
> i'm strangely hurt by this QAQ


End file.
